The first one I heard was Nice Guys Finish Last, the opening track of Nimrod.
I was only 5 at the time, but I hung out with my cousins alot who were both older and more like sisters to me. Sarah was nearly in Jr. High and Amanda was in High School. So they were totally into them. Amanda had Dookie on tape and Sarah had Nimrod on cd. So she told me to go pick out something to listen to while we played Super Nintendo (thats right kickin it old school) and I opened her messy cabinet of cds that were stacked way to high and fell when I had opened it. Green Day and a bunch of other shit fell out. So I grabbed a bunch, other bands I now know as Dude Ranch, Eve 6 and Third Eye Blind cds. But the one I handed to Sarah to put in first was one with big yellow blobs on the front that looked cool.
When I heard the opening music to it, I was floored. Forever to be changed.
Soon, I had borrowed Nimrod, I conveniently called the yellow album, so much she started hiding it. Eventually another album came out striking my interest, this time it had really bright colors coming out of the center and I loved it to fuckin bits. That time, I was a little older. I had figured out how to sneek. So I ended up taking International Superhits from her for months. She was pissed. But it changed something in me.
I listened to them non stop from then. But when American Idiot came out I had to sneek it home since it had parental advisory and I didnt know what my mom would think, with me being in only 6th grade, listening to the words fuck and faggot...well from someone besides my dad.
I began saving any money I came in contact with, and soon, I had Green Days entire discographyand up to AI in my underwear drawer where the back cracked and allowed me to lift it out of my dresser. In all honesty I can thank my half sister Lucy for a lot of that. She sent me a $50 gift card to best buy for my birthday.
I remember playing out Holiday's video on the bus with my friend Courtney every morning. Listening to Jesus of Suburbia on repeat before bed. Wondering what exactly Billie was talking about in American Idiot, and after an interview he had done...I turned on the news. Singing Letterbomb everyday on my walk from the bus stop. Taking comfort in Wake Me Up When September Ends when my 14 year old dog died. And having a cosmic connection to the words of Whatsername. Watching the videos on International Supervideos, over and over and over. Ripping any poster of them from undeserving teeny bopper magazines at wal mart, covering every inch of wall space I had with their faces. My first song learned on guitar being Brain Stew, then When I Come Around, then Good Riddance...until I wanted to play em all. Writing the lyrics to Homecoming on the back of every class binder I had as I sat in class. Watching Bullet in a Bible literally every single night for a year, and making my mom drive me to buy it the day it came out.
All of these things, little moments in time, changed me. Educated me.
King for a Day taught me what bisexual, cross dressing, and other strange concepts at the age of 6.
Waiting brings me nothing but bittersweet memories of laying on my floor baking in the summer sun coming through my window, listening my father take care of my chemo striken mother in bed. Allowing me to see the brighter side of her even being alive, and to...thank my lucky stars.
I grew up moving constantly. Never having a friend for to long, hell my oldest friendship only goes to 6th grade. No lifelong friend, no siblings, the only thing I had to shove all my anger, feelings, emotion, love,confusion, and interest into was their music.
I dont know anything other than being this person...this is who Ive always been since I can remember. There isnt a memory in my head, where I wasnt a Green Day fan.
And to think, it all started with Nice Guys Finish Last
No comments:
Post a Comment