We can't just walk away, babe

On greys anatomy there was a patient that mourned the death of the love of her life by having a heart attack on that day every year. Her heart would go into shock on its own, causing her so much pain she would end up at the hospital.
Its the first. I didnt realize it til Andrea asked how I was dealing with another ex anniversary.
When I woke up I was feeling nauseas and almost fainted getting ready for school.
If this happens the first of every month...Ill kill someone.
This pain is unbearable.
I was going through deleting old emails today and came across all these ones from christian...I started to tear up and had to go to the bathroom to pull myself together.
I cant deal with it anymore.
The pain isnt going away and I can not bear to cut him out of my life for good.
I need him. I always have.
Im so exhausted.

I wish some way, some how

I could turn this world right back around

and mend mistakes I made.

 

So I could say to you that

I know thing aren't quite like what they used to be

different faces, different places yeah.

We could try, oh yeah we could try.

What would you say if I

told you that I'm not givin' up

however long it takes

It's clear that things have changed

since when we started