I dont give a fuck. I will cry and scream and throw things.
I am in pain, and I will always blame myself for this pain, I will not forgive myself.
All these things. Concerts and things...its all a temporary fix. Because weather its after a show I wish I could tell him about. Or during a concert when I look to my right and hes not there experiencing it with me, I feel wrong.
I lost my best friend. I want to tell him everything. But hes not there anymore.
I got a job. I wanted to text him and tell him.
I am almost done moving, I wanted to go through things with him.
I wanted to take him to Roger Waters and Paul McCartney so he could sit in floor seats with me.
I wanted to send him postcards from Hawaii telling him how much I miss him.
My very best friend...the only person I could fully be myself around and tell every single thought to...is gone.
So yes. I will be depressed for a long time...because it hurts, and I dont have the energy to pretend it doesnt.
Im so empty I cant handle it. I miss him. And I wont stop missing him.
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