This is the starting of my greatest fear.

I desperately miss who you used to be.
This person now, is mean. And rude. Harsh and loves to watch me in pain.
The person I loved was sweet with me. Patient.
Caring, and just being in his arms made me feel safe and loved.
He was innocent when it came to education, but it was cute when he learned something he didnt know.
Watching his face turn and then smile with that perfectly imperfect jaw.
I loved it. And the way his mediterranean eyes would look at me when I was being grumpy, like he knew what was going to make me laugh.

This person is gone...and he took my heart with him. This new creature in his place is cruel and still has that control. I want to break free of it all and realize the love of my life is gone, he ceases to exist anymore...and this is what remains.
But I cant. Its a hurt to deep. I cant get over. I pray every night that my love comes back, and we can be as we once were. Those times are gone now.
I always wanted to believe the things you promised me were true, I hoped I was wrong that it was unlikely.I thought you believed enough for the both of us.
Then you left me. A part of me inside died, and I dont know how itll ever be brought back.
I wish you could read this.
But I know better, love.