A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins

Ive been reading two books simultaneously.

1. Love is a Mixtape
2.Nobody Likes You

Both of these books are dear to my heart. Both are true "biographical" types. I absolutely adore Nobody Likes You. It was where I got my first real hard facts about Green Day. Its crazy in depth and I read it at least twice a year. Love is a Mixtape is quite possibly my favorite book ever. Its so relevant to me and music being a center point of my life. But tonight while waiting to wash out my hair dye I looked a little deeper into some stuff.
They both have stories, Love is a mixtape is much more of a central point whereas Nobody likes you is more of a leading to the main idea. This love life.

Rob had a pathetic love life more or less until he met Renee. He loved her so deeply and they met over a Big Star song (which is so fucking adorable to me I could melt). They went to underground indie shows. She made her own clothes and shopped at bargain stores. They took spontaneous roadtrips and other sappy romantic things I dream about.

Billie had a rocky relationship with Erica for a while. He met Adie on tour, while she had a boyfriend. They would call each other and write letters. Then he met Amanda and she broke his little billie heart. He made a stop in Minnesota next tour just to see Adrienne again. After fucking 4 years she finally dumped the loser and married Billie. Regardless. He was 18 when he met the girl of his dreams, married her at 22 and he stayed with her. Its amazing.

So. What I figured out was its impossible for me to just settle for anyone. I need someone who knows what its like to obsess over a band like I do Green Day and can respect me for it. Someone who will look up when a Replacements song comes on. Or doesnt mind when I get hairdye on the bathroom mirror. I need to find someone to be with that knows what it means to be in love. Love music. And have these perfect flaws.
Good luck right?
Fuck I need to stop reading these two books. Giving me such high hopes. And this is why I set myself up to fall. Because then I think of Christian, and how he was that person. I guess Ill just have to keep trying.

Fuck. I wish I was like Renee or Adrienne. Or maybe im like Billie and Rob in this situation. Find these people that are similar to me but leave me broken hearted then fall head over heals with someone I never thought would look my way. Heres to wishful thinking.

27th Ave. Shuffle

Sometimes life makes me so damn happy I forget to put on pants.


Let me explain. I was sitting in CPT about to sign out of facebook and high tail it home when something caught my eye. "Stay glued to this page IDIOTs. Big news!"

I bounced in my seat insisting to Ginny that he was coming back. She denied it. I drove home at light speed and waited. Then it happened. Like I knew it would. St. Billie is back for 50 shows! So of course Im a genius. Yesterday Blaine and I were sitting in the kitchen with my mom talking. She said "You know she has little parties on Billies birthday right? She invited me last year." So I yelled as Blaine laughed that she wasnt invited this year.
Guess when Im seeing Billie in American Idiot?
February 17th. His 39th Fucking birthday.

I was so giddy with joy after buying my tickets in the center mezzazine third fuckin row, that I forgot I was changing and getting ready to go get my haircut. I actually walked to the kitchen without pants on.
SO WORTH THE EMBARRASMENT! Ya know why? Cause Im going to be with Billie on his birthday! Eat it fuckers! Yeah.
I would love to go to a show in January to, but Im content in staying home and looking at all the lovely photos and updates from people. Plus Im positive my dad wouldnt let me go in April, October, December, and now February. He would literally pull out a gun and shoot me in the face.

p.s. Dunkin Donuts, you will allow me at least two days off. Or I will straight up quit on your ass.

Pills that make me sit still.

Are you feeling fine?

All I want to do is I want to breathe, batteries not included

You ask what I want to do with my life? How I want to make a living?
I want to fucking live. I want to be able to look back on my days here and marvel at the places Ive been, people Ive met, and things Ive done. Ive been successful so far but all I want to do is live until I run out of breath.

Tell me how ugly I am, but that youll always love me.

“Nobody chooses to be a freak. Most people don’t realize they’re a freak until it’s way to late to change it. No matter how much of a freak you end up being, chances are there’s still someone out there for you. Unless of course, they’ve already moved on. Because when it comes to love, even freaks can’t wait forever.”
-Greys Anatomy

If my memory serves me right.

I cry every time I listen to this song. The whole way through. I'll always feel like Whatsername I guess. I don't know if people understand why, but the feeling of being totally forgotten and just being that girl. The girl in stories they tell someday to there kids like, " Oh I was dating this girl, oh honey whatsername? You remember?" Just being a face with no name. Forgotten and pushed to the back of a once treasured memory.

Of course I wish I had the power to do this. How badly I wish I could just forget. Forgetting all the pain, all the happiness and smiles. Id give it all up if I could just go back to life without a constant cloud. But as always the man has a point that I can not deny:

"You've got to think about your past, you cant just abandon it. A lot of people say, 'Live int the moment live in the moment, just go forward.' But you need to take some lumps and bruises along the way. When Gallagher sings the line "I remember the face but I cant recall the name" That moment kills me every single time, because hes saying, 'Youre a fool, but you've gained something, your smarter because of the process'."
-Billie Joe Armstrong

Don't want a nation under the new media.

Contrary to popular belief there really is no such thing as "freedom of press" or really freedom of speech.

I mean the government has their hands in everything, wrapping red tape around every topic. And even if you do know something worth while someone will come along and slap a gag order on you so fast your head would spin so the information wouldnt get out. For fucks sake its such a liability. But, freedom of the press are just words anymore, it only goes so far.
Jon Stewart had the president on his show. And believe me I think Jon is one of the most brilliantly funny guys in the world, and he knows his shit. Hes damn smart. I know for a fact those questions to Obama werent on the fly, he had to submit them so the president would know how to answer them. Granted Obama did a hell of a lot fuckin better then Bush would have, but still. You need to see them first? What dont you know what your plans are for this country? What you stand for and what your hope is for this country? Answer the damn questions from your heart and with your fuckin head. You dont need some speech writing fuck to come up with the answers for you to memorize. Christ.
Now the Green Day fans are divided. Billie said a couple of stupid things during this rant on stage, although there were a couple really great inspiring points in it as well. But point is he said he couldnt wait until Steve Jobs died...okay so he went a little far. But for FUCKS SAKE GET THE FUCK OVER IT!? All those dumb fans posting blogs and forming facebook groups about how he was insane and needed to apologize and how they dont know how to feel about him at the moment? FUCK OFF. You act like its a fuckin surprise ya know! Its Billie Joe hes going to say whatever comes to mind, he kind of lacks filter. As fans we should all know this by now. So shut the fuck up about it and leave it alone. I didnt see any of you complaining when he was in a fit of rage tearing his shirt off? This is just an angry rant, probably because hes sick of people filming his concerts and just went off. But seriously if you were any kind of Green Day fan at all you wouldnt be surprised, youd just say "Oh Billies on a rant again" and shut the fuck up about it. Seriously. I dont agree with him about the death part but im not going to make a big deal about it. Besides, he was right about all the technology. And you can be on facebook/twitter or whatever and believe there should be more to peoples lives than technology and television and game systems. I love my laptop but I dont live behind it and I dont let it desensitize me from reality. That stupid group on facebook "We want a public apology from Billie Joe" should be shut down. Its bullshit and their all whiny little babies. Fuck them. He is still my god damn hero, but you cant have people so high up on a pedestal that they arent allowed to say something a little more extreme. Leave the man the fuck alone, and let it go.

Something in the way.

Today after work I drove to Buffenmeyer road. In the bare spot (our spot) by the train tracks, under the bridge I turned on Whatsername. I thought about what words I would leave him if I decided to ever do this. I came up with this:
"Isnt it ironic that the place you broke my heart, I hope you never forget. I hope you regret letting those words come out of your mouth at that time and I hope you realize what you did to me when you said it."

I cant take all the ghosts in this town. Ya know, the ones only you see but dont talk about because its to painful of a memory. Fuck memories. Fuck pictures, they all just turn into painful reminders of the past and what used to be. Fuck you.

"What the fuck was I to you?!"
"A friend, someone I loved. And a fucking memory."
"Ya know what? I dont love  you. You dont even get to be a memory."

-Jesus of Suburbia video

Closer, closer.

“It's the way people try not to change that's unnatural. The way we cling to what

things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old

memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite

every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change

is constant. How we experience change that's up to us. It can feel like death or

it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our

grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can

have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again”

Roshambo.

I think Ive more to less become afraid of love at this point.

People who I used to think were decent thats cheated on their spouses/significant others:

-Brett Favre: Sent dirty(nasty disgusting revolting) pictures of himself to some NFL girl.
-David Arquette/Courtney Cox: allowed each other extramarital affairs outside the marriage, now their separating
-John Travolta: lost a son, wifes pregnant, been married almost as long as Ive been alive. Cheated.
-Morgan fuckin Freeman: cheated
-Brad Pitt: really Jennifer Aniston isnt good enough?
-Hugh Grant: had Elizabeth Hurley for christ sake! and cheated with a prostitute
-Josh Duhmal: cheated on Fergie with a stripper
-Ashton Kutcher: wtf.
-Matthew Fox: super Jack.

Whose next? Patrick Dempsey? Michael J Fox perhaps!?
Whatever. I just pray Billie Joe is still decent cus if it came out he had cheated on 80 my heart would break.

I don't believe in valentines

I don't believe I asked your opinion

I don't believe I stretched the truth

I am not looking for a bargain

All I really believe in is you

I don't believe in promises

 

I walked for miles til I found you.

(Get ready for some finnnne pictures hah)

So friday I rode the train out to Philly. It wasnt difficult at all. I sat next to many different interesting people. I got to Cates class and we had fun while she showed me all over Philly. We talked like we always talk about everything and everybody, every last thought that pops into our heads. We barely got 3 hours of sleep before we had to get up and take the 1 hour and 30 minute train to New York. In that time we listened to an adio of Green Day live from Lolla, where we proceeded to get Billies version of Chicago stuck in our heads. It was rather annoying that we would walk down the street singing 'chicago, chicago its my kind of town' while we were in NYC.

So saturday we checked into the hotel, and dropped our shit. Then we went shopping for a few hours. After shopping we went to lunch at promptly 2 p.m. I was slightly upset I hadnt run into Billie, but figured seeing him tonight would be enough. So after lunch we stopped by the St. James to get our tickets only to realize the show had just been let out. We joined the mob and pushed our way to the front, and I continiued to take photos of Billies face as he signed autographs.

We went back to the hotel around 4 and cleaned up, showered off the train scum and got ready for the show. In doing so I DJd some live Green Day rips I had to get pumped. (as if I wasnt enough already). We decided to walk around and since Cate had surprisingly never been to the M&Ms store or Coloney Records we made a quick stop there. At 7 30 we walked to the St. James and found our seats after buying a program. We sat next to this awesome theater buff named Leeann and talked until the lights went down.

Billie joe was a fuckin mazing in the show. He was hilarious and scary. But still Beej. Broadway suits him well, and allows him to flex his range in a way he cant during a Green Day show. I cried during Whatsername and melted into a pile of goop when he was pulling his shirt off. I love the glitter he threw everytime he made an entrance. And I figured out the new tattoo on his bicep is of him as a boxer. (In a tweet he said "i wanna get a tat of myself only taller" ha ha Billie. Your short <3)

Anyway, the plan was to book it down to the exit and get front row for autographs. Cate and I took the steps three at a time to get downstaris and in hindsight I sprained my ankle turning to quickly. We split up. I sweet talked and was down on being short, and made friends with my fellow GD fans. I pitied my way to the barrier triumphantly. In the ceilings mirror I saw a fight break out. It was Cate. I love her. Billie walked out steps behind Adrienne and after many pleas from my side, he approached us. I felt pressure on my left side as I was snapping pictures with my right but didnt want to get my hopes up that Id gotten his signature. I was standing on my leather jacket and my purse was wide open, but as I brought my program back into view I cried a little. I wormed my way out of the crowd and found cate.

"Howd it go!?!" I paused. "I GOT HIS FUCKING AUTOGRAPH!" Cate screamed and I dove onto her for a hug where my knees proceeded to give out. We were both shaking so badly looking at the scribble in both of our hands that we sat down in the middle of the dirty New York sidewalk.
This weekend is tied for the best night of my life. Period.

Its comedy & tragedy.

Time to wake up.

After I come home from NYC Im going to be so stressed. I have to get a job, and call the Bulletin about my article, then I have to write the damn thing. I kind of like the stress though. It gives me something to focus on.

So hot teacher man is actually a dick in disguise. My interview with Robbie was late an hour late. So I emailed him at 9 to let him know Id be late, and came to class an hour into it. He was a bitch about it even though I forwarned him. Im starting to really not like him. Hes basically the opposite of Ross. He hovers and looms over us while we work, where she hardly even looked up from her laptop. Its really irritating.

Seriously this couldnt have been planned more perfectly. September more to less sucked, so as a slightly corny Green Day fan I had "Wake me up when September Ends" posted on the outside of my bedroom door. Then, I grovel my way to American Idiot on October 2nd with the help of Cate. Coincidence? I think not. Ya know what, im just lame.

Ginny and I were talking between class today and complaining about how freezing we were.
Me: "Im cold, but I dont want to be that guy, the one who wears a leather jacket around a community college campus, ya know?"
Ginny: "But youd look like George Michael!"

I definately think taking Cate to American Idiot was the right choice. Like, alot of people would be all excited about Billie. Which I so so am, as well as Cate is. But shell apreciate the show as a whole also. Im really anxious to see what shell think of it. OH, by the way. Toniann was walking out of a pizza parlour while looking at her phone, and literally RUNS INTO Billie. Why cant I have her luck!?!

I dont have any money to get a tattoo anymore...its kind of upseting, but I guess Ill just have to wait a little longer.
But yeah. Okay, so things can be okay.

Homecoming: The Death of St. Jimmy

Billie Joe shirtless.Billie Joe shirtless.Billie Joe shirtless.Billie Joe shirtless.Billie Joe shirtless.Billie Joe shirtless.Billie Joe shirtless.Billie Joe shirtless.Billie Joe shirtless.Billie Joe shirtless.Billie Joe shirtless.


On Saturday Im gonna see both new tattoos...when Billie Joe is shirtless
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luwLP-dtp9M

Its St. Jimmy, and thats my name! And dont wear it out!

Train tickets to New York City- $145
Two balcony tickets to American Idiot- $114
One night at the Westin - 12,000 American Express points
Getting to see Billie Joe Armstrong as St. Jimmy - FUCKIN PRICELESS!

Dear Green Day,
Please stop doing amazing things I need to witness. Im flat busted!

Living in the big machine now.

Got my interview set up with the Goo Goo Dolls. The rep from Warner Bros called me today. What the fuck is my life? I have a rep from WB in my phone? Seriously?
I had to email Eli and tell him Id be late for class since its a phone interview. Im still kind of hoping recording it through speaker phone will work. It should work.
Ive run over the questions at least a million times...and I hope there good enough. I would ask my mom to look em over but she said I have to trust my gut and ask what I want. I wish I had someone to read them and be honest. Fuck.
Im nervous as shit. But I need more. I think im going to go down to the Bulletin and maybe see if I could pick up a few articles or something...freelance a bit. I think itd help, and in the meantime Ill stay on the prowl of any interesting bands to interview and find a place to put them. I need to be a journalist. Otherwise I have no path.

"You CANNOT make friends with the rock stars. That's what's important. If you're a rock journalist - first, you will never get paid much. But you will get free records from the record company. And they'll buy you drinks, you'll meet girls, they'll try to fly you places for free, offer you drugs... I know. It sounds great. But they are not your friends. These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of the rock stars, and they will ruin rock and roll and strangle everything we love about it."

I had the blankest year.

My mom offered me something that kind of surprised me. She said if I wanted to take the train to New York with Cate and Mousegirl and see American Idiot sometime in the next couple months shed be okay with it, and that we could get a couple nights in the Westin and go hang in New York. And if my dad says we as a family arent going to NYC im going to see if the two of them would be interested. I think itd be a fuckin blast.

For American Idiots 6th anniversary or birthday or whatever, I layed on my floor for 6 hours and listened to it 6 times the whole way through. Its strange remembering. This. This is what I loved about that song, or oh my god Marissa and I worked so hard to figure out that riff on guitar. Or like, Oh shit, I watched this part on Heart Like a Handgrenade and its probably my favorite part. That night I watched some old tapes I had from when they showed making ofs on Fuse. Then I watched Bullet in a Bible. It is still hands down one of the coolest things ever made in my opinion and I think Brandon Flowers is a big jealous asshole for hatin on it. (See this article from 2006 http://www.nme.com/news/nme/24702 ) Hes just jealous he didnt play Milton Keynes for 130,000 fans. Anyway. It was just something I knew was appropriate and that somewhere a GDCer was listening with me.

The name Billie spelled B-I-L-L-Y doesnt even seem like a real name to me anymore. Like in my mind the real, true way to spell it is with an -ie at the end.

I went to lunch with my cousin Sarah today and I saw Marissas brother Scott. It was kind of weird because at one point she and I lived at each others houses, and scott and his friends would always judge me and Brittany Myers on our hot level. He was a slob, so I didnt take his words to heart. But still I hate seeing people from my past.

Poprocks & Coke.

I decided I want to take Cate and Mouse to the next Green Day show I go to. I know out of my friends their the only ones that will understand how big a deal it is for me to actually bring people with me. I know they'd both be blown away because until you've experienced a show of their magnitude you dont really understand what Im talking about. I just really miss the two of them and want to share something important to me with them. Plus I know Ill get them to the barrier and it'll be something they've never experienced and wont forget.

Like its such a big event and party that gets you all wrapped up that you forget where you are...for me at least. But to me this is a big step. The only person thats seen me truly happy to that extent is Blaine when I met Billie. It kind of is the last shred of who I am, the very core of me comes out when it comes to Green Day. And I only share that last piece if your really close to my heart.

To be totally honest I've seen a lot of shows. I've seen Foo Fighters. Eric Clapton and Roger Daltrey. Paul McCartney! Im going to see The Eagles and Roger Waters. And honestly, Green Day is still the best show to me. And Im not just saying that, its truly different. Their is something about how interactive they are with the crowd, it makes me feel something I cant even put into word. Even my mom said shes never seen a show like that and how intimate it was...and shes seen The fuckin Who! If im being completely honest, Jesus Christ himself could throw a concert and I think Id still be like, "Eh, Green Day was better." Okay yeah theirs alot of people that would get offended by that statement, but know if its coming from me, its true.

For some reason everytime I see how many times ToniAnn has met Green Day I like...dont feel like a good enough fan. Like she went to Cali and did the exact trip I dream of! She went to Pinole and John Swett where Billie went to both high schools. She went to Gilman, and Christie Road. Where Billie had singing lessons and took a photo with his Look For Love tshirt. Tightwad Hill, Stuart and the Ave. She had every meal at Cant Fail Cafe. Adriennes clothing store, the Berkeley Marina. She saw their last two shows in America, including their Homecoming show in San Fran. Shes in official band photos from tour on stage with them! I just feel so pathetic and insignificant, almost like I should be so much better...I just feel down on myself. But then again...shes also met the Jonas Fucks a few times...that kind of makes me want to vomit. I am so envious, I could go to hell right now.

I also decided to nix the idea about the Peacemaker artwork on my side...for now. I think with my tight cash, but exceeding need to get another tattoo dedicated to my boys I have to put that one on the back burner. And instead get "If my memory serves me right, Ill never turn back time" going around my wrist. Obviously it'll be a smaller font and if it still doesn't fit Ill have to cut off the second line...or maybe just get the word "Whatsername" on my inner wrist. Either way. That song has always been one for me that like, reached inside my brain and soul...I dont want to particularly tell what that song has truly done for me. But I think its time to pay homage to that one next. Plus I decided to redesign my Peacemaker tattoo and I have to decide on the perfect location I want to get it, which may take time.

I honestly have no idea where I would be in this moment without Green Day. Its kind of ridiculous.

Strangeland

I met the new neighbors today. I talked to the guy Jason. He still acts like a teenager even though he has three kids, anyway. He was highly surprised at my music taste. When I mentioned going to see Sir Paul, Roger Waters, Eric Clapton and The Eagles he said this, "WOW. Thats really different music taste for someone your age."
I went on to tell him Green Day is my favorite band. How I enjoy going to see musicals on Broadway, and have friends (shout out to Cate btw) that influence me with them and show me how to appreciate them correctly.
He was kind of shocked. He told me how he doesnt know to many kids my age that have that musical taste anymore.

It kind of pissed me off...because its true. My friends are the only ones who are like this. Like in computer concepts we had to organize three bands and three songs. I heard people behind me talking. "I have Journey, Eminem, and T Pain. I cant really think of anyone else"
Are you kidding me? Really? I was sitting there tearing myself up for this simple assignment trying to decide which bands I wanted to choose. And you cant think of anyone else so you add T Pain? Really?

Its going to be impossible to find someone Im compatable with. Because personality is really important to me, but music is just as important. I need to be able to have stimulating musical debates on what Beatles song actually should be number one on some Rolling Stone list. Or which Doors album is better Soft Parade or LA Woman and the greatness that is Jim Morrisons twisted mind. I need someone to understand that when Im listening to Green Day Im having a moment and probably not fully aware of anyone else around, unless were discussing what the song or lyrics means to us in particular. That I like to sit at a musical and analyze what was going through the persons head when they came up with this idea or what the song is actually about or how amazing this persons voice is and wondering what they feel like singing it.
I dont know where Im going to find this person. I suppose that Im just spoiled seeing my parents do things similar to this all my life.
Because the people im stuck with knowing are ones who ask who Paul McCartney is. Or who listen to music but dont listen. Their not captivated by word choice or instrumentals.

I need to go to a music enthusiast class where people meet and discuss music...maybe I should form one of these or something, otherwise I doubt Ill ever come across this.
So basically I suppose Im destined to be married to my music.

Call me irresponsible, call me habitual.

I sat in math class seriously thinking  panicking.
What in the fuck am I doing in college? The only real reason I even went in the first place was because my father pressured me. I never thought I would be in a college.
But now Im thinking, whats next after this semester? Im going to have to pick classes...but I need to know what classes to build up my transfer...but where am I transferring to? Should I build up a rep in PA or should I stick to the plan and head west? And if I do head out to Cali or Hawaii where in the fuck am I going to live? Where am I going to get the money to move out there? I dont have a job, nobody is taking my applications and...my dad isnt exactly as content as hed like to be in the finance situation. And where would I go to school, theres no real respectable journalism schools out there from what Ive seen? So is this all just a waste of time. And then theres this interview with the Goo Goo Dolls that gives me a glimmer of hope, but its not like I can walk in to a publication and ask for the shittiest job possible to work my way up without a college degree can I? Doubtful. Extremely doubtful. I will get nowhere without a degree...
What in the fuck am I doing...christ.

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

I got my interview with The Goo Goo Dolls.
But there was a moment where I thought Id lost it.I realized that  WCCC doesnt have a real publication, its just ads from the student body.
So I went into town the next day before emailing Druskys guy back, and I went into The Latrobe Bulletin as a long shot. I never thought anything would come of it.
I talked to the editor, explained I wouldnt expect payment, I was just looking to get it printed.
And he said he would no problem.
Now my interview is going to be in a publication with an 8500 circulation.
I cant believe it. I was so happy and pumped on adrenaline I was tempted to go  to the school and tell Stalls. But I didnt...thank god.

I got on GDC and my status said, "One giant step...Im coming for you boys!" I realized if I ever want to sit down and actually speak to my idols, I have to fuckin start now. And the Goo Goo Dolls arent just some throw away band.

This could seriously happen for me. This could be my way out of here.
I want out of here so bad...and I want to be able to do this...and now, its seems possible.
Could it be possible I could actually pull this shit off?!

Seasons.

I need to go where the cold winds won’t blow
Where I won’t see the leaves change, trees won’t grow
I can’t take thinking of you and all that we’ve been through
When the seasons change

Winter comes and brings the snow
Once went to see the light up show
Laying under a blanket holiday movies on hold
Sipping hot chocolate wrapping presents untold
Don’t want to think about keeping warm
Or little moments in a dim light watching the storm
When the seasons change

Glint of sunlight catch your eye
As we sit on the pool side
Sun tan lotion and a killer burn
Way you look makes my heart yern
Can’t stop thinking of the look on your face
Looking at me with the sun hinting to fall from grace
That’s how we were
When the seasons change

Spring flowers budding out of the ground
Lovely breeze to warm this town
Taking walks and holding hands
Loved showing you were my man
Now I can’t bear to think of that time
Where everything was simple, and new, and in love
Now it’s done were over now
When the seasons change

shitty, whatever...how I feel.

DAY 9

Something you love about Billie Joe Armstrong:

Okay well basically everything I posted in Day 1's challenge. But a few things I may have forgotten.

He fuckin loves and takes care of his mom. There was an interview with her and she said he and the family come over every Tuesday night for dinner, when hes not touring. She has his first Grammy in the living room. He tries to buy her a new house and new car every year, which of course she refuses.

And his father my god. On September 10th theres going to be a stand up to cancer telethon and Billies performing. I would bet money hell play Wake Me Up When September Ends ya know why? September 10 was the day his father died in 1982 of esaphogial cancer. I really hope he doesnt cry...cus Ill cry. Hes so fuckin strong for doing it, god knows I wouldnt be able to.

Despite being 100% envious, he and Adrienne are a lovely couple like its ridiculous. I know I mentioned this but everytime I see the photo I posted below it just makes me realize how good she is for him, and how there really couldnt be any other way.

In a recent concert he was trying to get more kids in the pit. And security said no. Well fuck. Billie kept saying come on come on, and finally he ripped his guitar off and was like, "What do you need fuckin help? This is my fucking show and I say let em in!" He went to the side stage and told the kids to come in himself. When at least 100 new people came in he stands center stage. "Im Billie Joe Fucking Armstrong, Ill do whatever the fuck I want!"

I love when he fucks something up on stage, it makes him more human. Like he fucked up Longview (!?) and he just laughed and told the audience to sing. Hes not afraid to be really weird or silly. And when he harrasses the little kids after East Jesus Nowhere...its just adorable.

I love everything about him, and nothing and no one is going to change that.

Day 8

Favorite music video from Nimrod:

This is tough. So heres the tie for first I spose. Nice Guys Finish Last & Hitchin a Ride.
Why?

Nice Guys Finish Last is so cool, and funny. I like the fake dialouge of real fans. "Lets Go Billie Joe!" All the guys look awesome and I like when Mike does a slapstick fall, makin fun of how accident prone he is. I just think Nice Guys Finish Last and I...ya know, well always be tight.

Hitchin a Ride is freakin cool. I love Billies silver spraypainted shoes. And when the giants are chasing Mike and Tre, or when Billie tries to fight the one creepy guy. Its all just funny. And their on this treadmill playing, and its just a cool concept wiht the cocktail theme.

Day 7

Favorite video from Dookie:
When I come around. duh

Day 6

Favorite music video from 21st Century Breakdown:

East Jesus Nowhere. Even though its live footage, its kick ass.
End.

Tubbies, babygirl. Sting!

The front is like a car, the back is like a truck
The front is where we kiss, the back is where we
El Camino, El El Camino

"Did you know Billie Joe Armstrong traveled with his own tattoo gun?"

Day 5

Favorite song from insomniac:

In fuckin possible no, fuckin way. This album is toooootally undercredited and I am not about to contribute to this nonsense. So instead im going to go into detail about how awesome it actually is.

First of all...God Told Me to Skin You Alive is the name of the artwork on the cover...and its fuckin cool, if you find all three skulls on the cover, you are dubbed an Insomniac.

Fuckin 86. I love love love this song. It has so much attitude and its a direct fuck you to all the pompus assholes at Gilman who carved "Billie Joe must die" into a fuckin bathroom stall in 94. Get the fuck over it, you should be happy one of you actually broke onto the scene let alone still be relevant and successful today. Dont let the door kick you in the ass fuckers.

Brat. Love playing this when Im pissed at the parental unit.

Armatage Shanks. For some reason lately this song has grown on me quite a bit.Maybe its because I have been self declared a loner in a catastrophic mind.

Brain Stew/ Jaded. I can never turn these off when they come on. And it is the beginning of the Green Day trend to bleed one song into another. One of my favorite things is to watch the beginning of Brain Stew upsidedown like Billie is on the couch. Makes me feel close to him ha.

Westbound Sign is my state of mind right now, I feel myself living those lyrics in the near future.

Geek Stink Breath will go down in history to me as the most disgusting video, with Billie at one of his finest moments. I cant do teeth. Sorry guys, but fuck I love this song.

Day 4

Favorite song from Kerplunk:

Ok this is a definate tie, which is hard enough as it is considering that album kicks so much ass its ridiculous to even think about. But anyways. Here they are. Either Christie Road or Who Wrote Holden Caulfield.

I love Christie Road because it embodies a lot of things Ive felt at one time or another. Plus I like the way its kind of slow and dreary at the beginning then it picks up. But the lyrics are what makes this one of my favorite songs from them, and tied as the best from Kerplunk.

Who wrote holden caulfield has always been a favorite of mine. I like the shout out to Billies favorite book. And the song is just so damn good to pass up. Between the lyrics and the actual music...I cant deal. I love the fact that they play it live still, and in one of their most recent shows with AFI Davey Havok came out to sing with Billie, but ended up just singing it himself. For some reason everytime they perform it Billie goes off into guitarist mode, with a side of front man. Its kinda cool.

Somebody keep my balance, I think Im falling off.

I feel like Im losing my fuckin mind.
Like this isnt real. Any of it. Its freaking me the fuck out.
Theres nothing inspiring in this shit town, and I need out.
Ive been having these anxiety attacks at night that have been keeping me up. So Ive started writing it out in this half assed journal...its been helping I guess.
Theres nothing here, I feel no connection to anything.
I need something new Im feeling restless.

Day 3

Favorite song from American Idiot:
Oh fuckin eh. This is such a hard question. Depends on the mood, to be honest.
But a song I can not turn off once it comes on, and cant go wrong with it...is Jesus of Suburbia.

When they played this at Darien Lake, I started balling my eyes out. Its so empowering to sing the words back to Billie Joe. Its a high I cant even describe.

Day 2

First Green Day song I ever heard:

The first one I heard was Nice Guys Finish Last, the opening track of Nimrod.

I was only 5 at the time, but I hung out with my cousins alot who were both older and more like sisters to me. Sarah was nearly in Jr. High and Amanda was in High School. So they were totally into them. Amanda had Dookie on tape and Sarah had Nimrod on cd. So she told me to go pick out something to listen to while we played Super Nintendo (thats right kickin it old school) and I opened her messy cabinet of cds that were stacked way to high and fell when I had opened it. Green Day and a bunch of other shit fell out. So I grabbed a bunch, other bands I now know as Dude Ranch, Eve 6 and Third Eye Blind cds. But the one I handed to Sarah to put in first was one with big yellow blobs on the front that looked cool.

When I heard the opening music to it, I was floored. Forever to be changed.

Soon, I had borrowed Nimrod, I conveniently called the yellow album, so much she started hiding it. Eventually another album came out striking my interest, this time it had really bright colors coming out of the center and I loved it to fuckin bits. That time, I was a little older. I had figured out how to sneek. So I ended up taking International Superhits from her for months. She was pissed. But it changed something in me.

I listened to them non stop from then. But when American Idiot came out I had to sneek it home since it had parental advisory and I didnt know what my mom would think, with me being in only 6th grade, listening to the words fuck and faggot...well from someone besides my dad.

I began saving any money I came in contact with, and soon, I had Green Days entire discographyand up to AI in my underwear drawer where the back cracked and allowed me to lift it out of my dresser. In all honesty I can thank my half sister Lucy for a lot of that. She sent me a $50 gift card to best buy for my birthday.
I remember playing out Holiday's video on the bus with my friend Courtney every morning. Listening to Jesus of Suburbia on repeat before bed. Wondering what exactly Billie was talking about in American Idiot, and after an interview he had done...I turned on the news. Singing Letterbomb everyday on my walk from the bus stop. Taking comfort in Wake Me Up When September Ends when my 14 year old dog died. And having a cosmic connection to the words of Whatsername. Watching the videos on International Supervideos, over and over and over. Ripping any poster of them from undeserving teeny bopper magazines at wal mart, covering every inch of wall space I had with their faces. My first song learned on guitar being Brain Stew, then When I Come Around, then Good Riddance...until I wanted to play em all. Writing the lyrics to Homecoming on the back of every class binder I had as I sat in class. Watching Bullet in a Bible literally every single night for a year, and making my mom drive me to buy it the day it came out.

All of these things, little moments in time, changed me. Educated me.

King for a Day taught me what bisexual, cross dressing, and other strange concepts at the age of 6.

Waiting brings me nothing but bittersweet memories of laying on my floor baking in the summer sun coming through my window, listening my father take care of my chemo striken mother in bed. Allowing me to see the brighter side of her even being alive, and to...thank my lucky stars.

I grew up moving constantly. Never having a friend for to long, hell my oldest friendship only goes to 6th grade. No lifelong friend, no siblings, the only thing I had to shove all my anger, feelings, emotion, love,confusion, and interest into was their music.

I dont know anything other than being this person...this is who Ive always been since I can remember. There isnt a memory in my head, where I wasnt a Green Day fan.
And to think, it all started with Nice Guys Finish Last

Day 1

Favorite member of Green Day:

Ok, so obviously I love every single one of them to death...but, as everyone in my life also knows. Billie Joe Armstrong rocks my fuckin world ha. Heres why.

The man is a lyrical genius, the way he uses words so powerfully. He can be so menacing with songs like Platypus and Christians Inferno. Then. He writes something breathtakingly beautiful like Last Night on Earth where it literally brings me to tears at times. He doesnt just write songs. He writes anthems. Soul searching, informative, and still heartbreaking and beautiful. I dont know where he comes up with it all, being nearly the sole writer of every damn song. His words are like my bible. I believe in them, live through them, and apply them. Green Day is after all like a religion to me. Theres something in the way he writes that makes everything else in my world stop momentarily. When Im listening to Green Day everything makes sense.

Moving on to more reasons hes my favorite though.

The man is so fuckin talented its insane. Sometimes his voice is soft as velvet on my ears, while other times he sounds like his vocal chords should be ripped to pieces. It gives me chills when he sings...and brings me to tears. He plays guitar, drums, bass, sax, harmonica, mandolin, xzylephone, piano and probably other things unknown to the world. Its amazing to watch him play the guitar. He hits chords so hard and has so much skill that people dont even know about. Because he doesnt whip out a guitar solo in every damn song to show it off. But the man can fuckin play, which considering his massively impressive guitar collection would you expect anything else?

Hes an amazing performer as well, he definately delivers. The way he interacts with the crowd and brings so many fucking people on stage. He has a trust in us to not go Mark David Chapman on him, which sometimes terrifies the shit out of me. And when I saw that a fan had tripped Billie in the stands during Know Your Enemy...I got so scared. What would have happened if he wouldnt have just tripped him and busted his elbow and guitar? How he can trust his fans so much...I dont know, but I appreciate it. And he makes it impossible not to participate in the Hey Ohs and arm waving, or jumping and screaming. Im tellin ya, never pass up a Green Day show...there are no bad seats. And he cares so much that we have fun but not get hurt. Like in Toronto some fan punched a younger kid in the pit. Billie got him pulled out, but before security got there the kid flipped him off...so Billie spit on him. It was awesome.

Hes so dedicated. I think if he wouldnt be married to Adrienne I wouldnt be as attracted to him. The way he talks about her is so fuckin romantic. And if he didnt have her and his two boys, he would probably be the stereotypical rock star with groupies and a different chick on his arm at every award show. But he isnt. Hes grounded and down to earth because of her, and I have realized this. Its part of the respect I have for him as a human being. But its not just Adrienne, when I see the relationship he has with Mike its makes me smile. They are so unbelievably close and adorable. I like watching them play together and just act like their playing in the studio together. Nothing between them has changed. Still two eleven year olds playing music and being best friends. And its painfully obvious hes a wonderful father. The way he talks about Joey and Jakob...and how he acts with kids on stage.

Obviously its no secret the mans attractive but...if you seriously look at him. Its unbelievable. His green eyes are such a lovely shade I couldnt stop staring at them when I met him. His hair is still thick and curly but the colors he dyes it gives him different looks. His fore arms are literally the best Ive ever seen and thats saying alot. I love how short he is especially when hes running back and forth all night on a stage and all you see is this little zip of black light go by. I swear his nose is near perfectly straight. His teeth used to be soooo bad, now their fixed kind of because hes chipped his teeth so many times on mics. The crooked smile adds to his charm. Hes fuckin hilarious and when he laughs at his own jokes it just makes it even better because his laugh is even cute. The tattoos are always hot. The way he dresses is always so casual until hes on stage. But he still dresses like a rock star...but with old clothes. Its like he doesnt buy any new clothes ever. Its kind of funny though. Just goes to show all famous people arent conceited assholes. Hes sincere and such a nice guy, but still out of his god damn mind in a good way. But damn. Theres something about that man smoking a cigarette that I just cant deny.Plus...the man can fuckin fly its official.

Redemption Song: Green Day Challenge Version 2.0

I get to redeem myself. I recommend hardcore fans apply this to their favorite band...its a nice little reminder of things you love about them.

Blogger, be prepared for spamming starting today. Lots and lots of spamming :)

Day 1 - Favourite member of Green Day
Day 2 - First Green Day song you ever heard
Day 3 - Favourite song from “American Idiot”
Day 4 - Favourite song from “Kerplunk!”
Day 5 - Favourite song from “Insomniac”
Day 6 - Favourite music video from “21st Century Breakdown”
Day 7 - Favourite music video from “Dookie”
Day 8 - Favourite music video from “Nimrod”
Day 9 - Something you love about Billie Joe Armstrong
Day 10 - Something you love about Mike Dirnt
Day 11- Something you love about Tre Cool
Day 12 - Favourite Billie Joe Armstrong picture
Day 13 - Favorite Tre Cool picture
Day 14 - Favorite Mike Dirnt picture
Day 15 - Favourite side project (The Network, Foxboro Hottubs, Pinhead Gunpowder)
Day 16 - Favourite GD video that you have memorized
Day 17 - Favourite lyric from a song on the album “Warning”
Day 18 - Favourite lyric from a song on the album “39/Smooth”
Day 19 - Favourite lyric from a song on the album “Nimrod”
Day 20 - Your favourite song that doesn’t have a music video
Day 21 - One Green Day song that you could listen to forever
Day 22 - Number of concerts you have been to
Day 23 - Favourite Green Day album
Day 24 - Number of GD songs you have on your music player
Day 25 - When you became a Green Day fan
Day 26 - Number of posters you have on your wall
Day 27 - Your least favourite Green Day song
Day 28 - Your favourite live Green Day song
Day 29 - A Green Day song that makes you sad
Day 30 - A Green Day song that makes you happy

Take me to the tracks at Christie Road.

Fuck everything and everybody. Ive got fuckin Green Day.

Sending all my love to you.

I cant watch Up
I cant listen to coldplay
I cant think of New years eve
I cant think of charter oak church
I cant think of soccer
I cant pick the number 5
I cant eat cookie dough ice cream
I cant watch Rocky LaPorte
I cant watch Miracle
I cant listen to a bass line
I cant think of underground basement
I cant think of dance parties
I cant play on playgrounds
I cant wear my plaid skirt
I cant play records
I cant think of Halloween
I cant play mini golf
I cant look at Dr. Pepper machines
I cant lay in the street to see the stars
I cant play your guitar
I dont go to Twin Lakes
I havent watched Valentines Day again
I cant write a song
I cant look at photo albums
I cant think of homecoming, prom, homecoming or prom
I cant talk to drew
I cant go swimming
I cant drive by westmoreland fairgrounds
I cant think of snowdays
I cant think of emails
I cant listen to Pink Floyd
I cant watch That 70s show
I cant think of pinky promises
I cant watch Hockey
I cant read birthday cards
I wont light a candle
I dont name things anymore
I cant go to Denunzios or Carbones
I cant think of seeing Eric Clapton
I cant think of taking walks, holding hands, small kisses.
I cant think of New Years
I cant think of the 4th of July
I cant think of New Years
I cant think of Valentines Day


I cant forgive myself
I cant deal anymore.
I cant stop thinking of you.

See the light.

Ya know why I dont hate college? Because I loathed high school.
All those stupid classes packed to the gills that were pointless. People being so immature, I mean. Im only at 3C's but I dont know anybody here so I dont really pick up on the immaturity.

I have Ginny in my math class...but I have a feeling im going to need to focus. And then I dont know anybody in my computer or art classes. Sara Brasile is in my english, but I enjoy her so I dont mind.

Its kind of nice. The first day of classes I sat and had a smoke with a few girls I didnt know. Apparently I 'crack them up' But I havent even seen them again.

I love my art class. Hes the only male teacher I have and hes so chill, but intellegent at the same time. I see myself working hard to impress him as dumb as that sounds. There are only 16 people in that class and I dont think I have anything in common with them...so Ill just be a teachers pet til the end of the semester...because he seems like someone Id like to know.

I dont know. I dont really see myself getting involved with anyone new, which is both good and bad in itself. I really wanted to meet new people. But what would be the point if I want to move away after this year.

I dont want to start my life here. I will not make anymore ties here. I will just do well in school so I can get the hell out of here.

Public service announcment.

Dear world,
Billie Joe Armstrong is insane. He speaks without thinking. Laughs at his own jokes. Plays basically every instrument. Is a twitter slut ("its ho as hell!"). Has a little tiny compact frame. And doesn't stop running the stage for 3 grueling, sweaty, hours every single night.

And you all know he is fucking sexy as shit. Accept this and move on so I can stop getting into arguments.

Sincerely yours,
Ange

P.S Newsboy hat + v neck white t shirt+ skinny grey jeans = ange henry dying in a fangirl moment

Talkin' bout my generation.

So. Ive come to a conclusion about some things.
The Grammys and getting on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine isnt a well earned honor anymore...it just has been disgraced.

Like, shitty people are being nominated for multiple Grammys, and they dont even belong in that category.

Their putting dumb actors and actresses that dont last another year on the cover of RS.
Back in the day it was a sacred thing to grace the cover and now its always slutty girls with almost no clothes on and their tits hanging out, or some fuckin rapper who is trying to make a come back. And god forbid if a rock artist actually makes it on there, because they usually get the same generic white background band standing together shot. Sometimes they pull one out of their ass and they give a good shot (like the Green Day in Revolutionary War gear...its absolutely one of my faves.) But everytime I see that fuckin normal sized glossy print mag, it makes me choke a little.

People dont even think about where music stemmed from. They just bop along to their little fuckin ear buds and dont pay any homage to the bands that let their little two hit no nothing  bands onto the scene, with their generic lyrics and unambitious tracks...where if you really like a song go on fuckin Itunes instead of having to waste 20 bucks on a piece of shit for a single song.

They dont think of the Lennon, Jagger, Daltry, McCartney, Plant, fuckin Morrison. They dont. Because if they did they would fuckin respect the music, and realize that they made everything happen.
 Like The Beatles...they knew their influences and mentioned them and knew without them they wouldnt have shit.
Green Day. They cover The Beatles, The Isley Brothers, Op Ivy, The Doors during their concerts. Why?....because they love what they get to do for a living and thank god everyday that those bands did it first.

But what really bugs me is when fuckin rap artists try and put their music on a record. Not classics like NWA. I can respect that. But B.O.B no, sorry, not when in the same breath your stocking shelves with those dumb little cards that allow you to just download it when you get home. FUCK THAT SHIT!
They dont even sound like records anymore. Theirs no chilling eerie-ness that strikes your core. Theirs no draw where you just cant get enough of the crackling.

Im beyond ranting here, and its all because music is being brutally killed in our generation...I cant bear the sight of it anymore.

When everything you have goes away.

If you really love the person, you dont run away at the idea of spending the rest of your life with them when it could be a reality.

You make good on your promises of being there when I cry, or if Im sick.
You hold my hand as we walk down the new york streets and thank god we stayed together that long.
You promise,again to love and cherish me forever and stand in front of a church and god and everybody at our wedding. (which you constantly talked about.)
You smile happily if I decide to actually pop out those three kids we talked about. (Sydney. Ava. and Reiley.)
We watch those kids grow up, teaching them how to play bass, and listen to good music, in a strong family.
You kiss me on the forehead when you come home from work (like you used to do before leaving for the night)
We pick out the perfect house in Maine to grow old in, and bask in the wonderful seasons to come.
We fall asleep in each others arms like wed done a hundred times before.

When you spend 15 months with someone and all they ever talk about is loving you, being willing to die for you, and already knowing how they want to propose to you...its going to ache when its over. No matter how much the sensible side of you always knew it would end, the romantic side began to believe him and hope he was right.

I hate to think of you criticizing those loving couples, "how in the hell do they stay together so long, I dont want to be tied down."

If thats the way you think then you never really meant any of those pinky promises where you said you would never hurt me like the others and never leave me. Because if you did you wouldnt be bitter, youd still be with me, experiencing life with someone who loves you.

To this day. You break my heart.

Somebody kill me please.

Yep its official, im fucking insane.

You don't know how much I need you.
While you're near me I don't feel blue.
And when we kiss I know you need me too.
I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true.
But it all was bullshit.
It was a goddam joke.
And when I think of you Linda,
I hope you fucking choke.
I hope you're glad with what you've done to me.
I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy.
You left me here all alone, tears running constantly.
Oh somebody kill me please,
somebody kill me plee-ase,
I'm on my knees,
pretty pretty please kill me.
I want to die.
Put a bullet in my head.

Will she find her name in the California cement?

I want to stand inside Gilman so fucking bad. Just walking through that door would probably take my breath away.
People who dont appreciate music piss me off. Like they only like the "new and happening" bands. The ones on VH1 every hour on the hour. The bands that deflate after two albums. But then once their gone the people move on to the next big thing...and I dont get it.

What about bands like The Replacements? They kick serious ass but dont get any recognition. I guess thats okay, but people have heard them in indie movies or bad teen movies (see Cant Hardly Wait) without even realizing it. If you havent listened to them, I recommend it. Best songs to start out with: Bastards of Young & Androgynous.

I dont know I guess what brought all this on is Lollapalooza and the Paul McCartney concert. I am having such a hard time trying to find someone who would appreciate sitting in floor seats at Paul McCartney. And like, I jumped at the chance but people my age dont really appreciate him as a solo artist. They just know about the Beatles. And the people who do appreciate him (my real friends) are all going to be gone by the time the concert rolls around.

Lollapalooza drove me nuts. There were people on twitter tagging green day. The ones that pissed me off the most were,

"King For A Day. Guess its time for a bathroom break."

"Wow so glad I came all this way 2 see Phoenix play and cant even hear them over Green Day."

The last one I can kind of understand, and it made me laugh more than anything. Their so loud with their pyrotechnics and fireworks. Anyway. There were so many people who werent fans there and didnt know the words to anything but American Idiot. Id of killed to be there and they took it for granted. Im hoping seeing them play in their entirety and kicking major ass-ness turned some people into fans and that they go out and buy their discography.

People just dont respect the music anymore.

Green Day Challenge Day 28

Favorite Green Day hairstyle:

This is nearly impossible, but, if Im basing this off of all three of them. Definitely this look.

p.s luff Billies penguin tuffs haha

Maybe your clan is out in boston, but my friends are fucking awesome!

Nothing in the entire world beats spending time with my best friends.
In the past two days Ive had amazing experiences with them.

Im really, really glad me and Cate started hanging again this summer. I dont know what I wouldve done without her. Its so easy to talk to her, because she fuckin gets it. I can say weird ass shit like, 'If I could absorb this album into my skin it still wouldnt be enough.' And she comes back with, "I know dude. Theres this song..."
But on the other hand I can ball my eyes out in the dark listening to the doors with her, and shell want to offer me chocolate to make it better. The hours we talked the other night went so fuckin fast. And if she wouldnt have had to pee, and we both had to get home...I know for a fact that conversation could have gone on for several more hours. We have a tendency to seclude into Cate Ange mode in groups...its probably not very fun for the people around us who have to listen to us bitch like a married couple and mock each other, but its just something we naturally slip into.

And her and mouse make life so fun. The three of us just click. Add maureen and it was a blast. I love explaining how to be obnoxiously naked and laughing about dumb shit with them. I hadnt realized how much I missed talking to Theresa.
I really liked getting to talk to maureen. I always thought shed hate me...just because its natural instinct for me to believe people hate me over like me. But staying up all night talking to her and mousegirl about guys and college, and tattoos was fantastic. It was really fun talking to a Green Day fan that hasnt been to 432538978 shows and met them a billion times. Planning to live in the streets of Oakland and just wonder around screaming "BILLIE!?" everywhere was really fun and im glad she appreciated the idea...because people Ive told just thought I was insane.

Im going to miss them so much.

Yeah Cate. They know.

"Every single line that you write, you hang on every single word and you hang on every single moment. And for 'Jesus of Suburbia' when people are singing it back to you, they're not just reflecting what you've... the things about the song that you're wrapped up in, but also what their lives are wrapped up in, too. It's too much of an emotional moment... it's, it's one of the most emotional moments in a song I've ever written. And that's the only way you can look at a song like that. It's like you can't sit here and look at it and say, 'Oh, this is a catchy number.' 'This is... oh, God, I'd love to dance to this song.' For a song like 'Jesus of Suburbia' there's too much emotion at stake to just simply say it like that. You don't even have to say you *love* that song. I don't even think that's a way to describe it. It's not about... it's, it's about, it's about all the emotional baggage that you, you come with and that you are, are just... you finally have an outlet for. That's what 'Jesus of Suburbia' is to me and when it's reflected back at you by 65,000 people, it's um... I don't konw, it's a feeling you can't even describe."
-Billie Joe Armstrong

Green Day Challenge Day 27

Favorite Green Day concert:
I would give anything to go back to Thursday night. Words cant describe it. I felt more at home then I ever have before. Nothing in the entire fucking world could touch me in those 3 hours.
I was alone, and fully complete. Just Green Day & I.

Batteries not included.

Got my fix.

Everyones heart doesnt beat the same.

When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul.

And then I came down from that fantastic high from Thursday.
Im aching. Literally. All of the sudden hes here in my head again and breaking my heart as always.
For the 3 hours I was with Green Day it was like nothing else existed. Just us. The audience as one whole.
Now Im alone and in need of serious comfort. I need  more Green Day. I cant get enough. It seems as if their all Im going to have for a while once everyone leaves...might as well get used to it.
I just wish I could have the feeling I had at the concert all the time. It was unreal.

Vendetta, sweet vendetta.

"That was better than fucking...and I love fucking."
For the life of me I cant remember what song we were singing when Billie said this.

Wednesday, we left the house before 8. I literally got one hour of sleep the night before...I was so anxious. I slept the whole way to the state of New York and we stopped at some weird ass truckstop and ate. We got to the hotel, that which I might add smelled like 100 year old body odor and smoke.
So we drove around the town and ate, checked the venue out only to hear this. "These gates open at 3 p.m. nobody is going to be standing in any line" Fuck. My. Life.

The next day we were at the Darien Lake Performing Arts Center at 10 on the nose when the park opened. There I found my people. The Green Day Community people. There was a group of 10 of them. Why do I know the exact number? Because as people were coming into line, they were being numbered by the leader whose name slips my mind at this point, and Tag.

The security people shuffled us away from the enterance so all 30 of us sat under a pavilion outside the park and filled up all the picnic tables. There we made signs, swapped stories, and had a literal Pizza party (  ordered from the small joint down the road a piece).

Well after hours of waiting we lined up. They kept us contained like animals at the zoo. I was at the front of the line, and broke into a full run. But we were all stopped (in true Who like trampling style circa 79). Green Day was doing soundcheck still. Billies smooth voice could be heard from around the wall. As soon as they were done we were once again released...again, I was at the front of the pack running like the devil was fucking chasing me. I had made it.
I was front and center against the barrier. Sadly, no catwalk for this one, but it turned out to be alot better than I thought.

All of the set was flawless. During East Jesus Nowhere he asked a little boy,
"Whats your name?"
"Cameron."
"How old are you"
"12"
"Cameron...have you ever fucked a woman before?" he shook his head, "Well youre going to tonight, get up on stage."

Im not going to go into full detail of the show. But. At the end when Billie was playing Good Riddance he looked down at where I was and smirked a bit. When he was done he handed me the pick he was using.
I almost couldnt look him in the eye.

Camden, NJ.

I am fangirling hardcore over here. I cant even wait til Thursday.

Fangirling (verb):1. the reaction a fangirl has to any mention or sighting of the object of her "affection". These reactions include shortness of breath, fainting, highpitched noises, shaking, fierce head shaking as if in the midst of a seizure

He let them use the pool all day for free.

To put it simply I love my friends.
Everytime I hang out with Cate and Mouse it makes everything else seem easy to blow off. No matter what shit I went through the day before...they make it better.
Im going to miss them terribly when they leave for Philly.
Awesome music. Bad sense of direction. Near death teenage antics. Lazy rivers. Sunshine. And the taste of strangers.
Nothing beats it.

Green Day Challenge Day 26

Favorite Green Day moment:
Meeting Billie in New York...obviously. Thank you Blaine for standing by and waiting until he came up behind us...it adds to the memory.

Books

catcher in the rye
the perks of being a wallflower
the great gatsby
nobody likes you
no one here gets out alive

Those are the books that changed my life...literally.
Conversations, information, facts, feelings and decisions all came from those five books that I feel I wouldnt have obtained anywhere else.

Catcher in the rye taught me alot at the tender age of 13. Id decided on my own it was time for me to read it and asked Sarah for her copy...then when months past and she demanded it back, I bought my own since I was reading it then starting all over again when I was finished. I realized the difference between a reliable author and one that is omnipresent and misleads you. This came in handy in Mr. Crissmans 9th grade english class...I had many live arguments in class about how you cant just take the authors word for it.

The perks of being a wallflower was something I stumbled upon in borders sophmore year. It took me a day and a half to read the whole thing. I dog eared the pages with quotes that blew my mind or tid bits I wanted to remember. Everytime I read it, I cry. I love the questions that stay unanswered. How many times did his aunt molest him? Why did he honestly cry so much? What song made him feel infinate?

Ahh The Great Gatsby. Love, betrayle, shallow emotions. Mrs. Snyder was dead set on ruining the emotions I felt through this book. I think subconciously as a reader you want the character the story is surrounded in to get his way. In this case he was in love with Daisy. Everyone knew she felt something for him to, but it was unspoken. A fleeting love they had but couldnt get back. The entire time you just want them to be together...and in the end your devestated. I always try and imagine what itd feel like to know you were the cause of someones death...how youd live with yourself.

Nobody likes you was a place I really found Green Day. I dont remember buying it or where I got it...all I remember is I read it and took notes while doing so. Sadly Mrs Dicasilo was a bitch and took my notebook in science freshman year and wouldnt allow me to read it in her class anymore. But it just made the information I abosrbed stick that much more. Any good green day fan should own this book. It clears up some of the internet bull shit rumors and gives you straight facts.

However. No one here gets out alive changed my core. I distinctly remember sitting in front of my stereo everyday letting every single doors cd play on repeat while reading it. It made me think about music. It gave me absolute oppinions on the doors. For a while, doing drugs listening to the doors and reading this book was like a match made in hell. It made my brain explode. Jim was around. I knew it. To this day I cant just have a small conversation about them or him in general. Theres so many thoughts and feelings I have about them I cant even put it into words. Jim changed me. Hes up there with Billie Joe on my list of most influencial people in my life. He made my mind become abstract, because along with this book I bought a few of Jims published poem books. Its something you just have to experience.

Sorry I just babbled about books for no reason at all.

Evangeline Lilly & Dominic Monaghan

One of my favorite couples ever

Green Day Challenge Day 25

Favorite Green Day poster:
Theres something about this picture that ive always loved, I dont know if its the way their all standing or that Billie is the only one looking the camera dead on...it has been my favorite since I got it in the 8th grade.

Green Day Challenge Day 24

Favorite Green Day staffer:
Bill Schneider...the tour crew manager/guitar tech.
Hes pretty funny. Ive seen him in a few idiot club videos and hes just like the guys and puts up with their crazy shit( like shooting a nerf gun back and forth a truck stop store) I like him in Bullet in a Bible too, when hes going through pictures for a calender...hes just messing with them the whole time...kinda funny.
And yes, I do know Im weird.