Last night, after the storm had calmed in my house, I drifted off to sleep.
[holding The Perks of Being a Wallflower may I add.]
And I dreamed. Like had a full on dream that could have been reality.
It terrified me and excited me at the same time.
When I woke up I could remember ever single tiny detail.
The dream?
It was of my future, both near and far away.
It made me realize a few things.
1. I cant wait to own my own apartment/ house/ shack...whatnot.
I think its an exciting concept to have something all your own.
Sure itll be hard as hell to keep up with. And bills will be a bitch.
But still the idea of coming home to an empty house all to myself in this moment makes me down right giddy.
2. In all honesty, graduation doesn't scare me...which in turn scares me.
It should in all rights keep me up at night.
I dont have a clue as to what I want to do afterwards, let alone I have no job to begin with, and No motivation to go to college.
But for some reason graduating just seems like no big deal.
and finally...
3. I dont want to stay here forever.
I know Seth, for some ungodly reason, cant fathom why anyone would want to leave the safe confines of Latrobe.
For God sakes...
Ive seen volcanoes erupting in front of my eyes.
Ive seen the sun come up from the tallest mountain in Hawaii.
Ive seen the moon hang over the ocean.
I have seen sunsets that set my soul [and camera] on fire.
I do not want to stay here. I don't care how far I get, but I want to experience things.
I want to live.
Thats all I want to do.
It terrified me and excited me at the same time.
When I woke up I could remember ever single tiny detail.
The dream?
It was of my future, both near and far away.
It made me realize a few things.
1. I cant wait to own my own apartment/ house/ shack...whatnot.
I think its an exciting concept to have something all your own.
Sure itll be hard as hell to keep up with. And bills will be a bitch.
But still the idea of coming home to an empty house all to myself in this moment makes me down right giddy.
2. In all honesty, graduation doesn't scare me...which in turn scares me.
It should in all rights keep me up at night.
I dont have a clue as to what I want to do afterwards, let alone I have no job to begin with, and No motivation to go to college.
But for some reason graduating just seems like no big deal.
and finally...
3. I dont want to stay here forever.
I know Seth, for some ungodly reason, cant fathom why anyone would want to leave the safe confines of Latrobe.
For God sakes...
Ive seen volcanoes erupting in front of my eyes.
Ive seen the sun come up from the tallest mountain in Hawaii.
Ive seen the moon hang over the ocean.
I have seen sunsets that set my soul [and camera] on fire.
I do not want to stay here. I don't care how far I get, but I want to experience things.
I want to live.
Thats all I want to do.
I can't understand people who want to stay in Latrobe. or people who want to stay in ANY one place for their entire lives, really - I mean, if I'd grown up in New York City I think I'd probably want to go live in the middle of nowhere for a while, you know?
ReplyDeletegraduation didn't feel like that big of a deal to me either. I didn't really get emotional or anything - I guess I did it at the beginning of senior year, but by graduation day I was like "k, are we about done here?"
latrobe sucks.
ReplyDeletein latrobe.
everyday.
is asshole day.