27th Ave. Shuffle

Sometimes life makes me so damn happy I forget to put on pants.


Let me explain. I was sitting in CPT about to sign out of facebook and high tail it home when something caught my eye. "Stay glued to this page IDIOTs. Big news!"

I bounced in my seat insisting to Ginny that he was coming back. She denied it. I drove home at light speed and waited. Then it happened. Like I knew it would. St. Billie is back for 50 shows! So of course Im a genius. Yesterday Blaine and I were sitting in the kitchen with my mom talking. She said "You know she has little parties on Billies birthday right? She invited me last year." So I yelled as Blaine laughed that she wasnt invited this year.
Guess when Im seeing Billie in American Idiot?
February 17th. His 39th Fucking birthday.

I was so giddy with joy after buying my tickets in the center mezzazine third fuckin row, that I forgot I was changing and getting ready to go get my haircut. I actually walked to the kitchen without pants on.
SO WORTH THE EMBARRASMENT! Ya know why? Cause Im going to be with Billie on his birthday! Eat it fuckers! Yeah.
I would love to go to a show in January to, but Im content in staying home and looking at all the lovely photos and updates from people. Plus Im positive my dad wouldnt let me go in April, October, December, and now February. He would literally pull out a gun and shoot me in the face.

p.s. Dunkin Donuts, you will allow me at least two days off. Or I will straight up quit on your ass.

Pills that make me sit still.

Are you feeling fine?

All I want to do is I want to breathe, batteries not included

You ask what I want to do with my life? How I want to make a living?
I want to fucking live. I want to be able to look back on my days here and marvel at the places Ive been, people Ive met, and things Ive done. Ive been successful so far but all I want to do is live until I run out of breath.

Tell me how ugly I am, but that youll always love me.

“Nobody chooses to be a freak. Most people don’t realize they’re a freak until it’s way to late to change it. No matter how much of a freak you end up being, chances are there’s still someone out there for you. Unless of course, they’ve already moved on. Because when it comes to love, even freaks can’t wait forever.”
-Greys Anatomy

If my memory serves me right.

I cry every time I listen to this song. The whole way through. I'll always feel like Whatsername I guess. I don't know if people understand why, but the feeling of being totally forgotten and just being that girl. The girl in stories they tell someday to there kids like, " Oh I was dating this girl, oh honey whatsername? You remember?" Just being a face with no name. Forgotten and pushed to the back of a once treasured memory.

Of course I wish I had the power to do this. How badly I wish I could just forget. Forgetting all the pain, all the happiness and smiles. Id give it all up if I could just go back to life without a constant cloud. But as always the man has a point that I can not deny:

"You've got to think about your past, you cant just abandon it. A lot of people say, 'Live int the moment live in the moment, just go forward.' But you need to take some lumps and bruises along the way. When Gallagher sings the line "I remember the face but I cant recall the name" That moment kills me every single time, because hes saying, 'Youre a fool, but you've gained something, your smarter because of the process'."
-Billie Joe Armstrong