Don't want a nation under the new media.

Contrary to popular belief there really is no such thing as "freedom of press" or really freedom of speech.

I mean the government has their hands in everything, wrapping red tape around every topic. And even if you do know something worth while someone will come along and slap a gag order on you so fast your head would spin so the information wouldnt get out. For fucks sake its such a liability. But, freedom of the press are just words anymore, it only goes so far.
Jon Stewart had the president on his show. And believe me I think Jon is one of the most brilliantly funny guys in the world, and he knows his shit. Hes damn smart. I know for a fact those questions to Obama werent on the fly, he had to submit them so the president would know how to answer them. Granted Obama did a hell of a lot fuckin better then Bush would have, but still. You need to see them first? What dont you know what your plans are for this country? What you stand for and what your hope is for this country? Answer the damn questions from your heart and with your fuckin head. You dont need some speech writing fuck to come up with the answers for you to memorize. Christ.
Now the Green Day fans are divided. Billie said a couple of stupid things during this rant on stage, although there were a couple really great inspiring points in it as well. But point is he said he couldnt wait until Steve Jobs died...okay so he went a little far. But for FUCKS SAKE GET THE FUCK OVER IT!? All those dumb fans posting blogs and forming facebook groups about how he was insane and needed to apologize and how they dont know how to feel about him at the moment? FUCK OFF. You act like its a fuckin surprise ya know! Its Billie Joe hes going to say whatever comes to mind, he kind of lacks filter. As fans we should all know this by now. So shut the fuck up about it and leave it alone. I didnt see any of you complaining when he was in a fit of rage tearing his shirt off? This is just an angry rant, probably because hes sick of people filming his concerts and just went off. But seriously if you were any kind of Green Day fan at all you wouldnt be surprised, youd just say "Oh Billies on a rant again" and shut the fuck up about it. Seriously. I dont agree with him about the death part but im not going to make a big deal about it. Besides, he was right about all the technology. And you can be on facebook/twitter or whatever and believe there should be more to peoples lives than technology and television and game systems. I love my laptop but I dont live behind it and I dont let it desensitize me from reality. That stupid group on facebook "We want a public apology from Billie Joe" should be shut down. Its bullshit and their all whiny little babies. Fuck them. He is still my god damn hero, but you cant have people so high up on a pedestal that they arent allowed to say something a little more extreme. Leave the man the fuck alone, and let it go.

Something in the way.

Today after work I drove to Buffenmeyer road. In the bare spot (our spot) by the train tracks, under the bridge I turned on Whatsername. I thought about what words I would leave him if I decided to ever do this. I came up with this:
"Isnt it ironic that the place you broke my heart, I hope you never forget. I hope you regret letting those words come out of your mouth at that time and I hope you realize what you did to me when you said it."

I cant take all the ghosts in this town. Ya know, the ones only you see but dont talk about because its to painful of a memory. Fuck memories. Fuck pictures, they all just turn into painful reminders of the past and what used to be. Fuck you.

"What the fuck was I to you?!"
"A friend, someone I loved. And a fucking memory."
"Ya know what? I dont love  you. You dont even get to be a memory."

-Jesus of Suburbia video

Closer, closer.

“It's the way people try not to change that's unnatural. The way we cling to what

things were instead of letting things be what they are. The way we cling to old

memories instead of forming new ones. The way we insist on believing despite

every scientific indication that anything in this lifetime is permanent. Change

is constant. How we experience change that's up to us. It can feel like death or

it can feel like a second chance at life. If we open our fingers, loosen our

grips, go with it, it can feel like pure adrenaline. Like at any moment we can

have another chance at life. Like at any moment, we can be born all over again”

Roshambo.

I think Ive more to less become afraid of love at this point.

People who I used to think were decent thats cheated on their spouses/significant others:

-Brett Favre: Sent dirty(nasty disgusting revolting) pictures of himself to some NFL girl.
-David Arquette/Courtney Cox: allowed each other extramarital affairs outside the marriage, now their separating
-John Travolta: lost a son, wifes pregnant, been married almost as long as Ive been alive. Cheated.
-Morgan fuckin Freeman: cheated
-Brad Pitt: really Jennifer Aniston isnt good enough?
-Hugh Grant: had Elizabeth Hurley for christ sake! and cheated with a prostitute
-Josh Duhmal: cheated on Fergie with a stripper
-Ashton Kutcher: wtf.
-Matthew Fox: super Jack.

Whose next? Patrick Dempsey? Michael J Fox perhaps!?
Whatever. I just pray Billie Joe is still decent cus if it came out he had cheated on 80 my heart would break.

I don't believe in valentines

I don't believe I asked your opinion

I don't believe I stretched the truth

I am not looking for a bargain

All I really believe in is you

I don't believe in promises

 

I walked for miles til I found you.

(Get ready for some finnnne pictures hah)

So friday I rode the train out to Philly. It wasnt difficult at all. I sat next to many different interesting people. I got to Cates class and we had fun while she showed me all over Philly. We talked like we always talk about everything and everybody, every last thought that pops into our heads. We barely got 3 hours of sleep before we had to get up and take the 1 hour and 30 minute train to New York. In that time we listened to an adio of Green Day live from Lolla, where we proceeded to get Billies version of Chicago stuck in our heads. It was rather annoying that we would walk down the street singing 'chicago, chicago its my kind of town' while we were in NYC.

So saturday we checked into the hotel, and dropped our shit. Then we went shopping for a few hours. After shopping we went to lunch at promptly 2 p.m. I was slightly upset I hadnt run into Billie, but figured seeing him tonight would be enough. So after lunch we stopped by the St. James to get our tickets only to realize the show had just been let out. We joined the mob and pushed our way to the front, and I continiued to take photos of Billies face as he signed autographs.

We went back to the hotel around 4 and cleaned up, showered off the train scum and got ready for the show. In doing so I DJd some live Green Day rips I had to get pumped. (as if I wasnt enough already). We decided to walk around and since Cate had surprisingly never been to the M&Ms store or Coloney Records we made a quick stop there. At 7 30 we walked to the St. James and found our seats after buying a program. We sat next to this awesome theater buff named Leeann and talked until the lights went down.

Billie joe was a fuckin mazing in the show. He was hilarious and scary. But still Beej. Broadway suits him well, and allows him to flex his range in a way he cant during a Green Day show. I cried during Whatsername and melted into a pile of goop when he was pulling his shirt off. I love the glitter he threw everytime he made an entrance. And I figured out the new tattoo on his bicep is of him as a boxer. (In a tweet he said "i wanna get a tat of myself only taller" ha ha Billie. Your short <3)

Anyway, the plan was to book it down to the exit and get front row for autographs. Cate and I took the steps three at a time to get downstaris and in hindsight I sprained my ankle turning to quickly. We split up. I sweet talked and was down on being short, and made friends with my fellow GD fans. I pitied my way to the barrier triumphantly. In the ceilings mirror I saw a fight break out. It was Cate. I love her. Billie walked out steps behind Adrienne and after many pleas from my side, he approached us. I felt pressure on my left side as I was snapping pictures with my right but didnt want to get my hopes up that Id gotten his signature. I was standing on my leather jacket and my purse was wide open, but as I brought my program back into view I cried a little. I wormed my way out of the crowd and found cate.

"Howd it go!?!" I paused. "I GOT HIS FUCKING AUTOGRAPH!" Cate screamed and I dove onto her for a hug where my knees proceeded to give out. We were both shaking so badly looking at the scribble in both of our hands that we sat down in the middle of the dirty New York sidewalk.
This weekend is tied for the best night of my life. Period.