I want to hold your hand.

Please. Please.Please.
Don't do this.

It's more than time could never mend.

From January 1st 2009 - March 27th 2010

...hes gone. And. I dont know what to do.

Ashtray floors, dirty clothes, and filthy jokes.

Its funny. You don't really know your in god awful pain, until its ripping you to pieces.

Like stitches. Getting them, with the actual needle...doesn't hurt.

Trying to sleep on them, does.

I don't believe that Romeo and Juliet is a true love story. Fucking sue me.

Its not because of my life experiences turning me into a skeptic and nonbeliever.

Its the fact that their fucking martyrs of this superficial love.

martyr - One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle.

Its not true. Or real.

They saw each other across a fucking room, saw the other was attractive and what...that's love? No. Sure looks help.

But they were so busy trying to get the opportunity to get to know each other and rebelling against their overbearing parents that they never knew each other. Their cause was rebellion.

It was a face value kind of love.

Im tired of this fight.

Im tired of being exhausted.

Im tired of existence really.

Can I call you back when Im not so fuzzy?

I need something. Real. Timeless.

Glycerine.

I needed you more

When you wanted us less

I could not kiss just regress

It might just be clear simple and plain

what happens if we dont get past this?

The Middle.

Jimmy Eat World's The Middle just came on my I pod passing the auditorium. Reminded me of when we all danced in the middle aisle to it.

The Return of the King: Take Two.

This man is frighteningly intimidating.
Hes disgusting and beautifully repulsive.

I have tickets to see The Used again on April 18th!! (see previous blogs May 6th or April 8th 09)
My play list requests are the same as the last:Poetic Tragedy, Blue and Yellow, Light with a Sharpened Edge, I'm a Fake, Wake the Dead, and Liar Liar(burn in hell) and of course, The Taste of Ink.
This time though...I'm getting an interview and photo passes.
In the midst of all the excitement for the show, I'm scared out of my mind with the haunting question;

What in the fuck do you say to Bert McCraken!?

and to top this day off, Green Day just announced their first outdoor concert date this summer:

August 3rd New Jersey.

Iris.

"What I was really hanging around for, I was trying to feel some kind of a good-by. I mean I've left schools and places I didn't even know I was leaving them. I hate that. I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it."

If you seek pleasure in pain and comfort in the rain and having an open heart.

Sometimes the small battles arent worth the giant losses that you have in store.

There never worth it. Yeah it seems like it is at the time...like if you dont get your way then youll go down with a fight.

But truth is.

In the end, youll wish you would have swallowed your pride and caved.

Im actually afraid of what would have happened if I wouldnt have stuck it out and gotten over it.

Because now at the end of the day were still together and I hope we can walk away stronger.

So an even bigger win for me & you.

Who Knew.

I love my brown blanket.
Its there through the night, and when I wake up it hasnt changed.
Its still there.
When Im sick its warm and nurses me back to health.
Sometimes we play. I pull it over me, surrounding me. Protecting me.
I listen to the world. Maybe a phone rings. Maybe I get a text message
I hear cars going by. And people talking outside.
But im comfortable. Here. Under my blanket.
It covers me. Its soft and warm.
Countless times Ive wiped away tears with it. Pulled it to fit with me. Squeeze it in pain and unbearable moments no one else sees.
It smells perfect.
Almost my perfume but holds this amazing scent I can never place.
Its mine. And mine alone.
I never have to worry about it leaving me.
I can have it forever. I want it forever.

Name one person in the world as dependable as my brown blanket.

Rock and roller cola wars. I can’t take it anymore!

I want to be someone else.

"So anyway I put you down. Your my person."

"Shut up, Im your person."

We havent said that in a while...but im here, if you need me.